Barge and the speed boats

Sounds like a great Dr. Seuss book!

Once upon a time there was a barge. She sat in the water moving very slowly only to get where aboslutely needed. Mainly there to bask in the surroundings and usually while consuming a margaita on the rocks no salt. As the barge floats around there are many speed boats whizzing by. This makes the barge jealous and she, too, wants to be a speed boat. So the barge's friend, G, told her she, too, can be a speed boat with a little practice. With support form Barge's friend, margo, she gets out an starts practicing and even does....speed drills. Last night she goes to practice like she wants and the evil dirty pontoon boat is there that many people have played with. This frustrates the barge, but she pushes on. she did 250m to warm up and then 50m speed drills. 1 - 0:54 (pr!!), 2 - 0:57, 3 - 0:56, 4 - 0:59. Then she has to 2 more with only a 5 second rest! 1 - 0:59, 2 - 1:05 ewwww. A 200 warm down in 4:37 not too shabby of an evening. The moral of the story - do not shove a bunch of potstickers in the engine before doing speed drills - although delicious, it creates an uncomfortable nauseating feeling.

I think I missed my called as an author.